I fell off the writing wagon. Initially I had a reasonably good excuse as I was busy on a trip home to the UK. I then had no real excuse for the lacklustre attempt to get back on the wagon at the beginning of March. I have now missed the better part of a month. Reflecting on this breakdown, it is interesting to think about habit formation and why some things stick and some do not.
Even a shred of self-awareness would tell me that I’m not the best at habit formation. Or rather, I’m not especially good at long-term positive habit formation. Back in 2014, personal circumstances saw me become a little bit of a gym junkie. Not the weightlifting type, just a daily routine. I really enjoyed it, the habit seemed to be sticking. Then another change of circumstances saw that habit abruptly come to an end.
One issue with habit formation, or more specifically habit survival, is around sustainability. Sometimes I am very good at short-term binges, but I don’t necessarily set myself targets and parameters which make the habits easy to maintain. When I was going to the gym most days, it was inevitable that I would have weeks where that routine was challenged. Then, because I’d set such high stall on the daily nature, failing to go for a day or two suddenly derails the whole habit.
Similarly, this writing habit was supposed to be a daily routine. Some days this was genuinely challenging, but I’d squeeze time from somewhere and write something, even if it wasn’t great quality. As soon as a short string of busy days, such as a packed trip home, comes along, the habit very quickly drops and because a big part of the motivation was maintaining the daily ‘streak’, the momentum is gone and with it the habit.
Like going to the gym, or getting out on the bike (another lapsed habit), I do enjoy writing as soon as I start tapping away on the keyboard. I feel almost silly that I’d allowed myself to not do it for however long. Yet this positivity doesn’t seem to be enough by itself. When I was getting into the gym habit, I initially found it very helpful to arrange to meet a friend. This gave me external accountability. It was the same for cycling. I was no longer just letting myself down, I now had an obligation to fulfil. There are many hours on the treadmill and in the saddle which I wouldn’t have achieved had it not been for a partner in crime. Then, once I had the habit established, I was more likely to do it by myself.
Quite randomly on Friday, I found out that my blog had an unexpected reader. One of the things that the mentioned they found impressive was the regularity of the posts. I was grateful to find that the quality was appreciated as well as the quantity. This was a kind of external accountability which I was not expecting and I was determined to get writing again over the weekend. The weekend may nearly be over, but like I’ve done before in 2023, I’ve found the time and the post is written. Let’s see when the next one follows…
Positive habits may be hard for me to form, but I have a lot more success with negative habits. I know that environment is the problem here. I am ill-disciplined when it comes to avoiding temptation, so the best way for me to avoid doing something which I know isn’t great – especially snacking – is to illuminate the temptation.
Working around ill-discipline has some similarities to managing an obsession. I’m not sure obsession is the same as habit, but for the way it consumes time, thought and energy. When I used to play golf regularly in the UK, I wouldn’t say it was a habit. For sure, there were routines, but it wasn’t just like any other activity such as going to the gym. I guess the difference was I wasn’t consuming golf, it was consuming me. I didn’t have to work very hard at finding time for golf. There was the social element, offering that external accountability if it were needed, but I was very happy to play and even would go out by myself if I needed to.
Unlike just going to the gym or going for a bike ride, my relationship with golf was multi-faceted: it was an activity to do, a skill to develop, it had a social dimension, there was a lifestyle around it and it also offered a myriad of ways for me to spend money on it. I recognise that other people may well have this kind of relationship with other activities, including going to the gym and cycling (indeed, I had some of those traits when I did those activities), but golf was the one that really got me.
Given how strong that obsession was, I have been really surprised how quickly I just flicked the off switch. No real withdrawal symptoms. I still look forward to a round, but I don’t try to play all that regularly. I’m not sure whether this ability to switch something so significant out of my life is a good thing or something to be worried about. Dropping golf, or at least curtailing it, was part of the equation when I moved, perhaps without knowing the extent to which it would be the case. If circumstances permitted me to revert to playing more regularly, would the obsession resume? I’m not sure but that is a hypothetical for now. I’ll try and deal with one habit/obsession at a time.
Commonplace 